Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rants and Raves! ---Mostly Rants :(

Hey all, That time again...to play catch up!
My blog is behind, my Avon is slow and my a** is draggin'.
It's time to jump start my life!!!!!!!!!
Literally I worked out 15 min (hey it's a start) on my rebounder. I ate a good breakfast and lunch. And I'm catching up on my blog. Life is looking up.
Work however, has been a bit of a downer. I am very grateful for the private duty job I have, however it just is about 1/2 of what I made a year and a half ago. Unfortunately my bills and rent didn't get cut in half! So I have been feeling a huge crunch lately. 2009 ended about as bad as it could get. I sure hope 2010 is better!
I have been applying to nearly every job I can; even travel jobs that really are either too short or pay low. Locally, NONE ---NONE of the 5 hospitals are hiring (--at least not someone with 13 years experience. I imagine due to the fact that they'd have to pay me a bit more than a new grad--no resentment there.). I'd take a travel job even though it means I have to quit my current job and then pray that when it ended I got another travel job as my current job would be gone. How do you like that rock and hard place!?
My Avon would be OK if it weren't for the winter--it's hard to peddle Avon in the cold and snow. And I HATE cold and snow! I really wish things were different with my family---that they lived further south for one! It is the ONLY thing that keeps me here. I have been threatening my son to be alert. (He lives at home--another hinderance to my life--love you Chris, but it's time you found your own thing--whatever that may be.)
But I am seriously (I think I said this before) thinking of how I can move to Florida next year. The money has to be better and I need to get a hospital job--soon. You hear of people not liking the New England winters.....but for me it is 10 times worse than any SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) you can think of. I hate being cold. I hate not being able to go out without an extra 20 lbs of clothing, or not being able to feel my fingers for 9 months of the year! I'm whining I know, but it sucks, it really does.
Think of what I could do in Dunedin, Florida (where I'd like to have a home). I could sell my Avon and have plants and a nice garden, open the windows and let in the fresh air. Oh, I know you have a cold spell right now, but you just don't know cold until you are in it for 9 months. And your sun shines every day---every day! We see sun maybe once every couple of weeks! Really! And I know it is hot in the summer--I don't care!!!!!!!! I need it bad!
There is so much to do there. There is nothing to do here unless you like winter sports----were you listening to me above??!!
If there is any kind soul out there that has a need to help someone or that has money to donate/loan/share/give away, than I'm your cause. I'm really not looking for a hand out. I'm a hard worker and would pay back. I just don't see a way right now to pull myself up. Me of all people, who has seen The Secret more times than I should admit--me who has listened to half of all motivational/inspirational/uplifting/positive,etc,etc,etc....stuff out there!
One of them is titled--get this--"It's not about the money." You know, I know it's not about the money, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What is it about if you have NO money!? All the folks who write that stuff don't have to worry about the money. Get real! I am behind in ALL of my bills, rent, you name it and my poor truck is on it's last leg. People say they live week to week--well my week ends after the 2nd day--if I'm lucky. I play catch-up with who didn't get paid last week with who is about to get shut off this week. There was no Christmas in our house--hell even my son said he didn't think he'd ask for anything as he knew there wasn't any money for it. You can't make money if you don't either 1. have a good job or 2. have money! The person who wrote the article above --get this; has a program he sells --to make money-- that costs thousands of dollars---thousands! Get real! I think he is a good motivational speaker but I would love to thump him upside the head and ask him, 'What were you thinking?'. I guess I'm just out of that league. I don't ask for much and I usually try to be positive, but it wears you down after so long.
I don't even feel like doing my crafts much as my craft room is too small and cluttered to work in and I feel guilty doing any because I'm not 'making money' at it. (If I thought Clean House wouldn't make me get rid of my crafts I'd call them--they can have everything else though!)
There is another area of contention in this house--our crap! Way too much and this after I am trying to clear it out.
(Side note--I think I am just writing to hear myself think as I don't think anyone else will actually read all this ____ fill in the blank!)
Oh well, I need to put in another 'get-up-and-go' cd and get something done around here. I have asked for help, but I don't think my family wants to enter this den o'crap. Besides everyone is too busy with their own crap. (Which is why I ocassionally feel better about going to Florida as I really don't think anyone would even know I was gone until they needed something.)
Any suggestions for a career change? I always thought I would do OK selling my wares at Pier 60 (?) in Clearwater. If I just had enough to get going......
Peace and Love for 2010,
Cathy
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